Comment osez-vouz!!!!

The dress was surrounded by a light as if it had an aura; as if it had a soul. It touched me so that I dreamt of it and had to go back the next day and buy it. Honestly, that doesn’t happen, ever! I rarely gasp when I see an article of clothing but this was so me, so, so me, I couldn’t let it go.

When I went back the next day, I didn’t even try it on. I couldn’t bear the thought that it wouldn’t hang on me the way it had in my dream. I am still carrying my gray, rainy, NW winter weight and knew this would be the case. So, I simply lovingly removed it from the rack and folded it over my arm like a piece of antique lace, so fragile and precious that I should have had on white gloves.

I descended the stairs like a proper butler and headed straight to the shoe department. I knew that my collection of Steve Madden footwear was not going to produce the elegance that this dress commanded. Mind you, this is not a gown, this is not formal wear. No, this is my dream dress that I would wear when walking on stage to be a guest on Oprah. Do I have an appointment to appear on Oprah? Oprah doesn’t even have a show any longer so just go with me here! Obviously, when I dream, I dream big! Needless to say, this will go down as my favorite all time frock and this frock needed some frocking great shoes!

I didn’t even turn right because right side shoes are Steve Madden, Jessica Simpson, Uggs, and blah blah. LEFT SIDE, left side is Jimmy, Christian, Channel, and Prada. This dress would only hang above one of the above.

I was thinking a neutral color, spring, light, something to not detract and then…and then I saw them. What are the chances that there would be a shoe that perfectly matched the dainty zipper accenting the color of my dream dress? Rose. Rose Gold! I do not own one piece of jewelry that is rose gold. I don’t even like rose gold. But, I was smitten with these shoes and the fact they matched my linen wonder was astounding. Unbelievable. As if they were made for each other, like my dream dress and me.

The sales lady approached, I quickly and resolutely said,”I want to see these in an 8.5 please”. Her response? “Are you sure?“ “Yes,” I said with a strange, “huh?”, kind of tone. “These might be nice,” she said as she showed me another pair. She went on to point out that this alternative pair of shoes had a lower heel and a broader base, “much more stable” she informed me. “O-M-GOSH ALMIGHTY,” said the alarm in my head! She is assuming that a woman of my age, a woman of some years, a woman with, dare I say…sweat pants on, could ever place these gorgeous stilettos on her assumed gnarly old feet!

When this light bulb illuminated the truth in my head, this biased outrages assumption of my non-ability to stride in a Louboutin, well, I was aghast and set out to prove that yes indeed ma’am, I do know how to walk in a heel! She actually asked me, “Can you walk in those?” CAN I WALK IN THESE???? Do bears pee in the woods? Is the Pope Catholic? I sat down with determination and pulled up my sweat pants to reveal old lady legs that were about to show her who’s boss.

I slipped those pink power slippers on my feet and strutted gracefully and dare I say, with a slight sway of my hips to the mirror attached to a support beam. I turned with right foot extended, I walked a touch forward and bent back just a degree. “Yes, these are perfect, I’ll take these…_______” I didn’t fill in the blank out loud but I did, in my old lady, past the point of caring, head.

My granddaughters will borrow this ensemble someday. It will be “vintage” and they will tell their friends that their Nana used to wear this dress, (which they will have to have taken in) and these shoes. They will cup their hands over their mouths and twitter, “…and she was old!”

I, for now, will just enjoy my soon to be Easter outfit and feel like a million bucks. Don’t Nordstrom employees work on commission? Has she not seen Pretty Woman? Don’t ever doubt a customer!

Old ladies in sweat pants buy crazy expensive shoes way more than the 20 something bohemian broads that the buyer seems to think will be shopping at Nordies this spring. What’s up with all the embroidery and pioneer garb anyway? That was so 70’s, been there, done that, in great hemp wedges by the way.


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